What is BPD?
BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder, a mental health condition that affects everything in the individual’s life: from relationships, to job/career, to socialization with peers, building and maintaining friendships, and overall sense of self and identity.
People with BPD are highly sensitive individuals who feel big feelings and have vast imaginations. BPD falls under the “Neurodivergent Umbrella” alongside ADHD, Autism, PTSD, and other mental health conditions because of how their brain is wired, and they have different needs than your average neurotypical. People with BPD were born with heightened emotional sensitivity, which neuroscience confirms through various studies of brain scans and research. In other words, being highly sensitive and emotional is NOT a choice, and understanding this is the first step in dismantling the horrific stigma surrounding this disorder.
The stigma and misunderstanding of BPD is that they are manipulative and intentionally creating crisis/problems for attention. This could not be further from the truth. Most BPD behaviors are a genuine cry for help and/or emotional reassurance. Chronic invalidation of this fact exaggerates the need for understanding, which can escalate the behaviors of an already triggered and fearful individual.
Although BPD is classified under the category of “Cluster B Disorders” in the DSM alongside NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder) whose pathological behaviors ARE intentionally manipulative and exploitative (per diagnostic criteria) many truly feel and believe that BPD should NOT be grouped in among them as there are overwhelming differences behind WHY symptoms occur, and the intention behind the behaviors. It’s very important for clinicians to be able to distinguish this to avoid misdiagnosis, and for patients to be honest with themselves and with their doctors so they can truly find the correct help they need.
BPD develops because of both nature and nurture: it develops first because of genetic predisposition (brain and nervous system growth and sensitivity) AND a traumatic environment in early stages of life (from childhood throughout adolescence). The unfortunate combination of being a highly sensitive/emotional child in an environment where the child’s needs were either neglected, invalidated, harmed, or punished causes a sensitive child to develop a poor understanding of the world and of themselves. Maladaptive coping mechanisms and self-sabotaging behaviors become patterned habits which can follow and continue into adulthood before therapy interventions. Although an individual CAN NOT be diagnosed with BPD in childhood or adolescence, most people with BPD can trace the start of their symptomatic behaviors early on throughout their lifetime, due to the conditioning and modeling in their environments.
The goal of therapy and/or coaching intervention is to learn how to break these patterns, and find alternative solutions to live a healthier and more fulfilling life to reduce pain and trauma from re-emerging. With the right help from peers, a supportive community, and therapeutic care team, individuals with BPD can achieve remission and reduced symptom intensity. BPD doesn’t have to be painful long-term, it IS possible to live with and manage so life can be relatively peaceful and stable.
My Goal
I provide peer-based mentorship and coaching for people with BPD, and exclusive website content on how to live with it (subscribers only) as well as social media skits because I understand exactly what it is like to live with this painful disorder. I was diagnosed severe BPD/cPTSD (chronic) in 2019 while participating in a “Partial Hospitalization Program” for 3 weeks at a Psychiatric Hospital (one step down from in-patient) followed by Intensive Outpatient therapy (IOP) for 4 weeks, then by joining a Dialectical Behavior Therapy group (DBT: a research-backed therapy treatment specifically made for individuals with BPD). This was after already doing weekly therapy appointments (psychoanalysis) with various therapists and counselors since I was 16 years old.
In 2024, I achieved remission for the first time, reducing my symptoms nearly to 0, and today I no longer meet the requirements for BPD (requirement is meeting 5/9 criteria). I also have a degree in Psychology, and professional training in human behavior, abuse recognition, and therapeutic practices that I’ve accumulated through various jobs and experiences career-wise. This has given me the ability to look at the disorder both from the eyes of someone struggling with it and from a professional perspective of someone invested in helping others who do too.
Even though I no longer struggle the way I did when I was younger, I am still that same sensitive neurodivergent girl I always was, with more understanding and awareness of the needs and behaviors related to BPD, with a whole toolbox of skills and alternative coping mechanisms to use when I DO get triggered or feel particularly vulnerable nowadays. The memories don’t ever fully go away, but I believe we carry our scars as reminders of our strength and what we’re capable of overcoming.
I create content on social media via skits to raise awareness and help educate the world on the reality of this disorder. My sense of purpose and belonging is now achieved through giving back to the community, and helping others who know exactly what it’s like, and am an advocate and friend, who believes that they’re not the monster the world makes them out to be.